My Revalation

So I finally come to the realization that I’m just not meant to be here.  It’s become even more evident now that I’m back home after my amazing trip. 

I just hate it here! That may sound dramatic and exaggerating, but it’s so true. I hate the weather, I hate how there’s no hills, only suburbia. I’m tired of living in this small town, with small minded people who in all honesty just need to get a life. 

I’m ready to leave. I’m ready to travel. I just want to be back in Ireland where I felt at peace with myself. I cannot explain the pure bliss I felt to be surrounded by those people. No competition, no worries. I miss it so much more, now that I’m back here. I miss my family, I miss my friends, and I miss feeling simply content. Everything just seemed so simple. It was as if everything magically fell into place.

Presently, I just don’t know what to do with myself. I feel almost like a ghost here because while I was off having the time of my life, everyone else was getting on with their’s. Now I just feel left behind. I know this is silly, and I know I’m really blessed to have the life that I do. I just can’t help this ache in my heart. 

Take me back to Ireland and then I’ll be okay.

New Experiences

So I just got home from the best summer I’ve had in my entire life. And you know, it’s taking some time to get readjusted to life back here in the states. This summer I went to Ireland like I usually do, but instead of going with family, I took this trip on my own. I saw it as an opportunity to go out into the world and be truly and solely myself. Without the pressure of being who my parents, friends, and neighbors thought I should be. So for 6 weeks I was able to cut loose, and yes I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I was tired of always having clean shoes. This girl needed to let go of all the stress, and you know what for those 6 weeks I honestly didn’t care what anybody fucking thought. I can tell you it is the absolute BEST feeling in the world! I can’t even destcribe just how liberating it is! The friends I made in Ireland made all the difference though. People always say how friendly the Irish people are but that’s an understatement. I could sit down with anybody in a room over there and have the most genuine conversation, and I wouldn’t have ever met this person before. I can honestly tell you that I didn’t just meet new people, I made real friends that I know will be just excited to see me as I will be to see them, next time I visit. Although, I’m not going to tell you that irish people aren’t tough because they most certainly are. The amount of teasing I got because of my American ways was crazy but it was all in fun and games. It was a good crack and you just have to be able to laugh at yourself, which fortunately I can! But I’ll never be able to thank them enough for making me laugh more than I have in a really long time, and for genuinely caring about me. The Irish are unlike any other and I most certainly will be back to see my friends soon.